SALA Restaurant - Koh Samui, Thailand: During our stay at SALA Resort in Koh Samui, we arranged a private beach site dinner with the SALA restaurant. This is something we have done numerous times at different five-star and luxury resorts around the world without a problem, and because these dinners tend to be so memorable, we do them on a regular basis whenever we travel.

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Of all the places that we’ve had arranged private dinners before, SALA is one of the very, very few that actually charge a setup fee. In this case it was 2,200 Thai Baht—roughly $65.00. Anyhow, we knew how great a private dinner could be so we went ahead and booked.

The evening our dinner was scheduled we were running late and let the restaurant know about this; they said it wasn’t a problem as it was a private dinner and that the evening was all about us.

When we arrived at the restaurant and presented our names, the staff merely looked at each other as if to say, “Hmm, who are they?” “What are we supposed to do with them?” We were expecting to be welcomed and graciously escorted to our dining venue but the staff seemed clueless about the special reservations we had made. After puzzling and inquiring among themselves, someone who knew about our arrangement finally came forward and walked us to our table on the beach.

Set under a blinding spotlight and a mere fifty feet from the outdoor restaurant, the location was anything but romantic. I looked around and wondered why they didn’t put us further down the beach, somewhere that could actually be called private. As if to add insult to injury, the table setting was as barren as I have ever seen at any private dinner. A cheap white tent was set up with some tacky flower arrangement hanging on a wicker type birdcage. On the table was a small flower bouquet (I hate even calling it a bouquet) and a few lighted candles (we really didn’t need them seeing that we were under the spotlight).

Once we were settled in, we were welcomed by the Food and Beverage Manager. He told us to take our time and enjoy the evening, and that oh, yes, there was a 300 Baht corkage fee for the Champagne we had sent down earlier to be chilled, which we wanted to enjoy before our dinner. This was the first time I had ever been charged a corkage fee outside of a major city; it appears that the $65.00 we paid for the set up was just not enough money.

Still a bit surprised with the additional fee and quite disappointed with the “decorations,” we had no choice but to sip our Champagne and order dinner: For starters, Tom Kha Gai, a mild coconut chicken soup with galangal & Thai herbs—rather bland but they did warn me it was; and Tom Yam Goong, a sour and spicy lemongrass soup with king prawns—very spicy, with a great kick to it. For the main course, Poo Pong Karee, stir fried crab meat with curry powder, onion & celery—dry and boring; Gaeng Kari, a coconut yellow curry with potato, onion and basil—uninspiring and dull; and Neua Phad Manhoi, wok stir fried beef with oyster sauce, onions and peppers—very good, great flavor and a beautifully rich sauce. We also ordered a nice bottle of Sauvignon Blanc to complete our meal.

For dessert, I was hoping to order my favorite, Mango Sticky Rice, but they were out of mango (I wondered, was this really a five-star resort’s restaurant?), and thus opted for the Passion Fruit Crème Brulee instead. After the first bite I was anything but passionate about it.

Service throughout the dinner was fair. Our waitress, who was dedicated to just our table, spent a large portion of the night at the edge of the restaurant, which was fine as we said we wanted privacy. There were a few times, however, when we needed her but she was too busy talking to a co-worker. We probably would have gotten better service in the restaurant with everyone else.

After our dessert arrived, our waitress stayed a few feet away, very near us. Promptly at 11:30 p.m., she said, “Our restaurant is closing so I need to take care of the bill but you can stay longer if you’d like.” I was appalled. Even before we were done with dinner, we were forced to get the bill, which clearly explains why she was hovering over us at the end of the night. We paid the bill and with her waiting like a hawk a few feet away, clearing anything and everything from our table she possibly could, we decided the evening, of which was not that special, was now over.

As private dinners go, this one at SALA Restaurant was easily the worst one we have ever had, leaving us completely disappointed. The fact that we had booked this dinner a week in advance and paid extra for it just added to our disgust.

As you can guess, my rating for this private dinner at SALA Restaurant at SALA Resort in Koh Samui is Not Bombastic.

What I liked: Neua Phad Manhoi and Tom Yam Goong

What I didn’t like: the décor, the service, the location of the table, the spotlight, the set-up fee, the Poo Pong Karee and the “get out we are closing” attitude

Rating: Not Bombastic

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